How to stop settling, once and for all…dammit!

Written by Heidi Rain

December 12, 2015

Being in a relationship of any kind with an addict or alcoholic causes an emotional, physical, and psychological rollercoaster. It’s crucial that you have BOUNDARIES! My latest on demand master mini course lays the foundation of how to set and hold a boundary with an addict. You will get the exact step by step formula and the insight, wisdom, and guidance you need to set a boundary and FOLLOW THROUGH.

Learn:

  • Why boundaries fail
  • Common boundary mistakes with an addict or alcoholic
  • How to get massive clarity around what you want, deserve, and are no longer    willing to tolerate.
  • How to communicate with clarity, empathy, and strength.
  • How to follow through
  • The exact language to use with an addict or alcoholic
  • How to stop being manipulated, gaslit, and guilted out of your boundaries
  • How to create a healthy, peaceful environment for you and your family.

How much of your day is spent settling for an experience that’s less than you deserve? And how much of YOU yearns for a life that’s a little more satisfying?
When I ask myself that question, immediately, I turn to other people and ask myself, “what bullshit am I putting u with from you?” How are YOU not meeting me expectations?
But what if I saved the finger pointing and went introspective instead.
How am I creating experiences that are less than what I truly want?
Let’s take eating. Becasue for most of us, meals are a place to find pleasure.
There can be pleasure in preparing a meal. You are in the mood for Italian. So, you prepare the sauce. You let it simmer. You open the pot and let the spices hit your nose. Mmmm. smells lovely. You set the space at the table. You could, if you wanted, choose to use your best dishes and your favorite cup. The one you got at pier one. You could light a candle, sit down and watch your fork as it twirls up the spaghetti and then slowly place that perfect bite in your mouth. You could chew and I mean chew your food. Enjoying each bite.
Or, you can settle. And you can stand at the fridge, open up that spaghetti container, pick up a noodle with your bare hands and suck it down. You could eat it cold. You could refuse utensils.
It’s not about the spaghetti. Spagetti is a metaphor for how we love on ourselves. Notice I didn’t say, how you love yourself. I said, How you love ON yourself.
So, do you love yourself with cold, finger scooping, fridge standing kind of settling love?
Is that what you deserve? Is that how you want others to love you? You are leading the charge. You are treating people how to treat you.
Heat up your Goddamn spaghetti!!!

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