5 Sure Fire Signs You Should End Your Relationship

Being on the fence about your relationship can be Hell. No doubt! The song plays in your head… “Should I stay or should I go now…..”

It really is maddening. Wondering if or when things will change.

This week, I dive into helping you decide if you should stay or go.

I am giving you 5 sure fire signs it’s time to go.

1. You’re waiting for a sign

2. You’re waiting for someone to change

3. You know you deserve better but you’re settling

4. You’re strategizing

5. You don’t like who you are in the relationship

If you feel like you want more help with this, please feel free to check out how I can help here https://www.lovecoachheidi.com/coaching-packages/

Watch the video where I go in depth on each sign.

People Pleasing. When It’s Scary To Be Yourself

It used to be really important to me to fit in. I didn’t want to share anything about myself that could potentially turn someone off.

I certainly didn’t want to talk about my eating disorder, or my binge drinking. I wanted to look like I had it together at all times.

But now, since I’ve healed, I’ve come a long way baby! Watch this video on people pleasing to learn more…

A Special Video for Moms and Wives of Addicts

Hello lovely,

Let me get right to the point…

WHEN YOU ask me questions about how to go about your relationship with the addict in your life….

I FEEL that I have great information for you

I WANT you to click on the video

So, IF YOU watch and implement the video

I WILL continue to be able to help you

And to the contrary,

WHEN YOU ask me questions about how to handle your addicted loved one

I FEEL like I have great answers for you

I WANT you to click on the video

IF YOU  don’t watch and apply the video, likely nothing will change

I WON’T be able to help you

Do I have any control over whether or not you watch this video? Of course not. All I can do is make the video, offer it to you and let go of the outcome.

But that’s easier said than done. Especially wheen there are so many feelings involved. So, this week’s video is a deeper dive into the boundary conversation. I hope you enjoy it!

Also, in the video, I made mention of the Online Family Program for families of addicts or alcoholics. You can find out more about that program here. https://onlinefamilyrecoveryprogram.mykajabi.com/p/online-family-program-landing

Please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts. Have you set a boundary? How has it gone for you?

Pink Clouds: How to Stay Motivated to Make a Change

You know how it goes. You make a decision to take some massive action and suddenly you get a burst of motivation. You decide to lose the weight, leave the boyfriend, or get sober. And at first, it feels easy! It’s a no brainer! You’re not even craving that thing or person you left behind.

“Good Riddance!” You think.

It’s good to be free.

Except, have you ever broken up with a bad boyfriend, convinced it was the absolute right thing for you to do, only to find yourself a month later stalking his social media or asking friends if they’ve heard anything new? Maybe you even fantasize that you could go back in and test the waters? Kind of like an alcoholic who thinks maybe they’ll just try light beer.

Or, have you decided to drop 20 pounds ‘cause your SO DONE obsessing about your stomach so you blow off carbs like an industrial leaf blower in the dead of fall, only to find two weeks later you’re craving and caving. Someone pass the donuts, now dammit. Please.

Why does that happen?

Well, you’re not an emotional sadomasochist. You’re human.

And no matter how motivated you are to take action initially, the motivation will flee, fade, and lose it’s get up and go push.  Giving way to the “maybe just this once” mentality.

Here’s why.

People are only really motivated to do anything for two reasons. 1. To avoid pain. Or 2. To gain pleasure.

Most people are motivated by pain initially-That thing became so bad that you HAD to do something about it NOW.

But after time, that, what I call, PUSH of PAIN will lose its “ummmph”.

And that’s when you’ll promptly get off your so called pink cloud and succumb to the grey rain with the rest of us.

What the rest of us are doing is moving to phase two of staying motivated: finding our pleasure.

If you don’t find out WHY or what’s in it for you to keep going, you’ll stop when the hurt wears off.