I was talking to one of my longtime best friends yesterday and I was telling her my schedule. Up at 5 am for alone time to reflect, create, film videos, etc. Wake Ellie up breakfast and walk the dogs before home school begins at 8:30. Lunch break for Ellie and work out for me.  Then Daddy takes over at 1 and I serve my clients. It all wraps up at 7  after 2 more hours of play time when dinner is served. I end the night with a bike ride while daddy does night time routine.

She paused and said, “Oh great! Now I feel like I’m reading an excerpt from Redbook written by mom of the month.

“Don’t be so impressed” I told her, it’s so I don’t have a homicide on my hands at the end of this a schedule keeps a dormant psychopath at bay.”

My natural state in a crisis is super scheduled or super self destructive. Those are my choices.

Either I  sleep in the darkness of the blackout blinds til I’m tired of sleeping. Wake up and eat pretzels dipped in cream cheese, binge watch something stupid wasting away the day.

Or I get busy.

And that got me thinking about how people function when the shit hits the fan within the system.

Originally, I came across the concept of family roles when I was studying the impact of alcoholism and addiction on the family over 20 years ago.

But as I have taught these concepts over the last several years, I understand they apply to any dysfunctional system from a corporation to a government to an unhealthy family.

When you’re trying to make something abnormal normal, like make a sick family function, people take on a role in the family to help it function.  

I know shining a light on these roles will be helpful, especially now, when you may begin to see yourself trying to cope with a “new normal”.


So, I present to you the 5 ways we cope in a toxic or dysfunctional system.


Watch the video now!

And if you’d like to schedule a consultation, reach out on this site. 

Love Yourself,


Share This

Share this post with your friends!