Hi!  I’m Heidi!


“Heidi, you showed me the light at the end of the tunnel and helped me see the light was me.”
– R.S. Private coaching client


“I can finally make sense of my childhood. I can accept it now. Because of you, I have transformed my pain into gratitude.”
– Forgiveness workshop participant


I have seen Heidi change the lives of many people. I am a better therapist because of her teaching.
– Meagan Gaine LMHC, Therapist


What I witnessed was transformation. Heidi brings hope and light to where there had been despair and darkness”
– Kevin B. Schmidt LCSW CEO
Light of the World Counseling

When I was a little girl, I was plagued by the question…
“whats wrong wrong with me?”I couldn’t figure out how to make people love me the way I want to be loved. I came to believe that being me wasn’t good enough and so I began to become someone else. These days I call them Attachment personality patterns (APPS). They are a way of behaving in relationships that resulted from trying to thrive, survive, connect or cope in our family of origin. And now, those behaviors are preventing us from having the relationships we deserve. 


I’m here to help you find your true self. root down in your value and take your power back.


The FIXER: You dedicate yourself to saving or helping others reach their full potential, though they never get there. You have caseloads instead of friends. You choose emotionally, financially, physically or psychologically unavailable people.

The PRETENDER “Never let ’em see you sweat!”You don’t speak your truth. You don’t like to be vulnerable because it makes you feel weak. And even though you suck it up and pretend you’re fine, you’re totally NOT FINE. 

The PERFECTIONIST  It looks good from the outside. But that’s because you’re afraid to be the real you. So, you morph into the ideal image of who you think “people” will approve of. You try to say and do the perfect thing all the time and when you fail, you judge yourself without mercy.  

The CONTROLLER  No one’s gonna do it like you do it! That’s why you have to do it all by yourself. ALL THE FRIGGIN TIME. You want to be able to trust people, but the truth is, you believe the only person you can count on is yourself. You’re full of overwhelm and anxiety. You’re lonely. 

The VICTIM  You’re haunted by your past or controlled by others opinions of you. Other’s actions paralyze you. You stay in relationships too long because you keep getting sucked back in.  You feel powerless. You keep getting hurt, betrayed, blindsided, or backstabbed. 

The WITHHOLDER  You restrict yourself. You don’t share your feelings, thoughts or yourself (fully). You somehow believe that you have to shrink who you are to make others feel better about themselves. You are afraid to fully give yourself to anyone or anything for fear you will be rejected or abandoned. You isolate and no one really knows you. 

The PLEASER   You want to say “no” but you don’t. You take on more than you want to because you want to make everyone else happy. You self-sacrifice to the point of complete burnout and then when you need someone, no one’s there for you. You’re secretly resentful and pissed. You just wish others would treat you the way you treat them. 

The CLINGER  You go ALL IN way too soon and you trust the wrong people. You stay loyal to people who don’t deserve you. You seek approval and affirmation and feel you can’t trust your own judgement or intuition. You need others to validate you. 

The truth is, you CAN have the relationships you deserve.


Everything you want in life starts with mastering 3 things. 

1. Know Your Self: Learn about your unique personality pattern and the impact it has o your life and relationships

2. BE Your Self: Get the tools and strategies to BE your authentic self.

3.  Love Your Self: Learn my step by step self love system to have the life and relationships you deserve.

Most people confuse self-love with self-care

I’m not talking about bath bombs here. The reality is, there aren’t enough bath bombs and manicures in the world to compensate for a deep seated belief you aren’t enough.

I work to get to the root of your relationship Issues. 

I have a systematic approach to healing all your unhealthy behavior that prevents you from being who you were born to be and having the relationships you deserve. When we work together,we’ll figure out who you’ve been. Then,I’ll help you release the past, find your power and root down into your authentic Self.

As a result, you’ll transform every relationship in your life. Even the most difficult ones. 


As an international business consultant, I’d march into the board room in my pencil skirt, set down my latest LV bag and run the world.

But that wasn’t the whole story.

The truth was, I was alone even though I went to bed with my 10 years too long boyfriend. I’d lay awake at night full of anxiety wondering what it would be like to be with someone willing to put me first.

I’d wake up with a hangover from the 2 bottles of wine I drank the night before hoping to forget about the fact I was totally resentful and burnt out.

I’d hide the rest of the brownies in the bottom of the trash and pour coffee grinds on them so I wouldn’t be tempted to binge again.

I’d suit up for battle the next day and soldier on.

No one knew what was really going on because I was an incredible performer.

 I was the consummate people pleasing overachiever.

But no amount of success was enough, because I never felt enough.

I would lay my head on my pillow at night and wonder “Is this life? Is this really all there is?”

I knew what I wanted. I wanted two things: True love and authentic happiness.

It all came to a head in 2009, the economy crashed, I lost my my big money consulting career and all my self esteem went with it.

I had no idea who I was or what my value was without “what I did”.

I was in my thirties, childless, heartbroken, hungover, alone, and desperate to change.

I felt like I had wasted enough time and it was now or never to get my life together. For Real. No more faking it and going through the motions,

It was MY TURN to be happy.


I live LOUDLY and I don’t care who’s watching or what they’re thinking.

I’m able to be the mother I always wanted to my daughter.  

I love DEEPLY. And I have a true partner who reflects the value I hold for myself.

I show up BOLDLY for the hundreds of people I serve through my books, workshops, retreats and private mentoring programs.

And I LET GO of the rest that no longer serves me. 

Heidi McGuirk profile picture

Heidi Rain McGuirk

Heidi McGuirk is a Master Practitioner of NLP, Addiction Professional and Master Certified Empowerment and Relationship Coach. She specializes in codependency, self-love, dysfunctional/unhealthy relationships, and dealing with addiction in the family.  She is co-creator of the Revolutionary Family Program and Love Yourself First Empowerment School.
It’s her passion to equip and certify  those who want to help others through her Empowerment Coach University.
Heidi held an esteemed faculty position at one of the world’s leading drug and alcohol treatment centers where she created empowerment programming and facilitated psychoeducational lectures,  seminars and group therapy. This experience with thousands of clients over many years, led to the creation of much of her life changing curriculum and proprietary methods.
Heidi blends her vast professional experience, world class education and personal experience to create exceptional results with her students and clients..
She has a unique understanding and fresh perspective which helps her to truly get results with those she helps.
Her riveting style of using humor and candor encourages and inspires people to heal. 

Have you been following the toxic relationship rules?

  • Don’t be selfish. Put everyone else’s needs before your own.
  •  Never let them see you sweat. BE STRONG. Don’t show weakness. Vulnerability is bad. 
  •  Don’t trust anyone.
  •  Don’t let your guard down. The other shoe will drop.
  •  Don’t celebrate your success. You’re not enough, It’s not enough. There’s not enough.
  •  Don’t talk about your feelings. Better yet, pretend not to have them.
  •  Don’t talk about your problems. It’s not ok to have them.
  • Fix everyone else’s problems.  
  •  Don’t be who you are. Don’t make mistakes. Be perfect. 

Are you ready to break some rules so you can finally have the life and relationships you deserve

It’s time to step FULLY INTO

your most powerful, joy filled Self and be who you were born to be!

Want to speak with me? Click the link below to schedule your complimentary consultation.

What to do when you’re done pretending you’re fine.

When you’re afraid to feel your feelings… This may sound silly at first. Who the Hell is afraid of their own emotions? Well, here’s what I know for sure. There are feelings you ALLOW yourself to feel and feelings you will avoid feeling at all costs. I know this to be...

How to get UNSTUCK When you Feel Beaten Down

How do you get unstuck when you feel beaten down? Let’s get real. It’s hard to keep moving when you feel like you’re swimming in molasses. It’s even harder if you feel like you happen to be surrounded by idiots who don’t know how to support you. I want to be as...

What’s the Difference Between Therapy and Coaching?

If I’ve been asked once, I’ve been asked a thousand times, “What’s the difference between therapy and coaching?” It’s actually a tough question to answer being there are only so many ways you can draw a square. But today, I sat down with my friend Meagan who happens...

When you’ve lost your way…

When you’re expected to be perfect, it’s easy to feel like a failure right now. There’s no manual. Judgement settles in. “Am I doing this right?” Surely not you decide as you start comparing yourself to everyone else. Perfectionism and all or nothing thinking prevents...

Help for the Family when things are Dysfunctional

I was talking to one of my longtime best friends yesterday and I was telling her my schedule. Up at 5 am for alone time to reflect, create, film videos, etc. Wake Ellie up breakfast and walk the dogs before home school begins at 8:30. Lunch break for Ellie and work...

When you Feel Powerless and want to Control Everything

I’ve been known to be a bit of a control freak. And it usually kicks into high gear when I feel especially powerless. If I’m not careful, I’ll try and control everything and everyone around me and end up feeling anxious, overwhelmed and angry. Our ability to weather...

Relationship Advice During Hard and Stressful Times

During hard or stressful times, our relationship issues intensify. Join me and my husband as we share our 3 Master Keys to healthy relationships. We discuss communication, sex, and much more. As always, if you find this helpful, please share or leave a comment. If...