When You Guess at What’s Normal in Your Relationships

I was in Zumba class yesterday doing my normal thing, which is to get lost in the music, mouth the words in Spanish that I don’t speak, make random movements with my head and face that resemble a painful episode of toddlers and tiaras. I caught myself in the mirror...

When You Choose Success Over Relationships

It’s a noble pursuit! Wanting to change the world, reach millions of people, and help as many as you can by achieving your goals. But what’s the price you pay? If you’re like me, it was relationships. In today’s #rulerebellion, we’re talking about the rule, “I can’t...

When You Feel Like No One Cares

Julie locked the bedroom door, flung herself on the bed and landed face first into the pillow. In between sobs, she could still hear them laughing and chattering in the living room. “Jesus!” She thought to herself 15 minutes later. “Listen to them still carrying on...

When you always have to be IN CONTROL

Rule Rebellion: “I have to be in control.” My dad never drove anywhere without a beer between his legs. I grew up in the back woods of Pennsylvania, where most roads were windy, hilly, and full of pot holes from the coal trucks. Often, the edge of the roads on the top...

When You’re Always Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

Shelly was thrilled. She bounded into my office and threw herself into the overstuffed leather chair and exclaimed, “Well, I’ve either met the love of my life or the one who’s going to propel me into the abyss.” “You’ve met someone! Tell me about him!” “He’s perfect....

When You Can’t Show Weakness

When You Can’t Show Weakness. I think I was born highly sensitive. I had an in exorbitant amount of shame for things I didn’t even do. Someone could look at me with a disapproving look and it would travel through my blood stream into my heart then make its way up to...

When You Need Their Love and Approval…

What’s the real answer to the question, “Why don’t you have what you really want?” If you’re sleeping, you’ll place all the blame on others. It’s their entire fault. They didn’t give you what you needed, they don’t support you, they’re so negative, they don’t believe...

So You Want to Be Happy…

I used to wake up in the morning with a hangover. My head would pound as I tried to recall the night before. I’d roll over to see if anyone was beside me. And if someone was, I’d check to see if I was still wearing my underwear. If I was alone, I’d go through my phone...

The PSYCHO-logical Torture of Overthinking

PSYCHO-logical  torture..   I call it the shredder with my clients. It can about be a decision about leaving a job, taking back an ex, or even sending an email. The process is the same. Think about new decision. Begin mental torture by scrutinizing and agonizing...