Dealing with Addiction in the Family
Should you stay or should you go?
Can a relationship with an addict ever work?
How do you help an addict?
Addiction in the family is maddening to say the least.
When you love an addict, your whole world gets turned upside down as you try and figure out the best way to help an addict.
When we say “addiction is a family disease” what we mean is, it effects everyone in the family.
Addicts and alcoholics believe that they are only affecting themselves, but in truth, no one is left untouched by it’s devastating impact.
How do you tell if this is a problem?
Knowing if someone is an addict or an alcoholic is a tricky question. Often, when you confront someone you care about, they’ll argue with you that they’re fine. They’ll tell you that you are overreacting.
Here’s the simple answer: it’s a problem if it’s creating problems.
Most people who socially drink or use recreationally don’t feel the effects or suffer consequences from their behavior.
So, if using is creating problems (financial, emotional, physical, psychological, spiritual, mental, environmental, social) it’s time to take some action.
Does an addict have to hit rock bottom?
The thought of waiting until things get worse before they get better is a crippling one as you watch your loved one spiral out of control.
The short answer is NO.
Things do NOT have to continue to get worse before they get better. But, the odds of someone seeking help when things “don’t seem that bad” are slim.
What you need to know is most of the time, even when it gets obviously bad to others, the addict will still think “it’s not that bad.”
Addiction is about denial. If the addict or alcoholic didn’t have a sense of denial, they would not be able to continue to do what they are doing to the family.
They have to stay in a fantasy in order to continue to operate.
You cannot convince an addict how bad it is. They do not see it.
What you can do is work with someone to orchestrate getting help for your family. In our Family program we teach you the steps to take to help someone get into recovery.
How do I set a boundary with an addict or alcoholic?
Boundaries are different than ultimatums. But ultimatums are usually what we give addicts.
Ultimatums are given as a lame attempt to change the addicts behavior.
Boundaries are for YOU.
You can attend our free masterclass on setting boundaries!
How do I help my addicted family member?
This is such an important question. There are MANY things you can do to help your loved one get better.
But in my experience working with hundreds of families, the fist step is to know what you may be doing that isn’t helpful.
So, we have created a free checklist for you that will answer this question more in depth.
In addiction to all of the free resources we offer, we have also created our Addiction Family Program to help you. The course filled with all of the information you need plus a weekly semi private support group held live to answer your questions.
Seriously considering private coaching or joining our program?
Do you have questions about our programs or private coaching?
Heidi McGuirk is a Master Practitioner of NLP, Addiction Professional and Master Certified Empowerment and Relationship Coach. She specializes in codependency, self-love, dysfunctional/unhealthy relationships, and dealing with addiction in the family. She is co-creator of the Revolutionary Family Program and Love Yourself First Empowerment School.
It’s her passion to equip and certify those who want to help others through her Empowerment Coach University.
Heidi held an esteemed faculty position at one of the world’s leading drug and alcohol treatment centers where she created empowerment programming and facilitated psychoeducational lectures, seminars and group therapy. This experience with thousands of clients over many years, led to the creation of much of her life changing curriculum and proprietary methods.
Heidi blends her vast professional experience, world class education and personal experience to create exceptional results with her students and clients..
She has a unique understanding and fresh perspective which helps her to truly get results with those she helps.
Her riveting style of using humor and candor encourages and inspires people to heal.